Why We Gossip

When we think of gossip we tend to think of its most negative manifestations. It brings to mind workplace backstabbing or high school rumors. Much of what is written on the subject focuses on these negative expressions. But gossip as defined by researchers is benign, it is often simply “talking about people who aren’t present” or (more broadly) “the discussion of social topics”. To mitigate harmful gossip it’s important to have a clear understanding of the definition being used, as well as the origins and purpose of gossip.

The Evolution of Language: Gossip and Bonding

Robin Dunbar, British anthropologist and evolutionary psychologist specializing in primate behavior, is the author of the book Grooming, Gossip and the Evolution of Language.¹  This work examines gossip by tracing its evolutionary function as key to the development of language.

Our capacity for language is unique, and Dunbar carefully outlines how by detailing forms of communication in other species. This is inclusive of the work of Karl von Frisch whose Nobel Prize winning work demonstrated how bees communicate with each other about the location of nectar sources.

Such a detailed accounting of the various types of communication and their origins is important to truly grasp what makes language special.

Primate Grooming and Group Size

There are many theories regarding the development  of language. One conventional view, for example, was that language evolved to enable better, more coordinated, hunting.

But Dunbar’s theory is that gossip helped our ancestors survive by contributing to alliance building and bonding.

Primates groom each other. Grooming ensures fur is clean and skin free of debris. Correspondingly, groomed primates have higher endogenous opiate levels. So, beyond the visible practical purpose, grooming bonds primates together. It cements alliances. 

However, the time primates invest in grooming increases with group size. Therefore, language evolved to replace social grooming when the grooming time required by our group size made impossible demands on our time.

Theory of Mind and Storytelling

As detailed in our previous article Theory of Mind is the ability to understand other people and their behavior by ascribing mental states to them. Operating within Robin’s theory ToM is essential to the development of language as it is an indispensable element of  storytelling/gossip.

Without Theory of Mind our interactions are limited to providing facts to each other. Studies show male participants spend 55% of conversation time and female participants spend 67% conversation time on “the discussion of socially relevant topics” so we would be pretty quiet without gossip .²

Harmful Gossip: The Consequences of Talk

One aspect of gossip is reputation maintenance. It’s easy to see how this would be important in forming alliances. The flip side of this is the destruction of the reputation of someone else. This strengthens bonds against an individual by reinforcing groups values, and providing the opportunity to poach an ally from another.

We are hardwired towards this behavior. We can be especially responsive to negative gossip when social consequences are low. A 2015 study examining the brain imaging of men and women as they heard positive and negative gossip found that the caudate nucleus, a reward center in the brain, was activated in response to negative gossip about celebrities. Subjects seemed amused or entertained by salacious celebrity scandals.³

This tendency, combined with the access provided by social media and the Online Disinhibition Effect makes harmful gossip more extensive and damaging.

Mitigating Harmful Gossip

Sarah DiGiulio wrote a straightforward piece for NBC News which includes a simple three point list on “Gossiping for Good”⁴:

• Think Twice Before You Do It
• Don’t Gossip for Personal Gain
• Don’t Distort Information

The Stories We Tell

The stories we tell about ourselves and others are essential to forming friendships, groups, and communities. Understanding the roots of gossip, its power, and how that power is wielded can help us tell better, positive, more productive stories.

Sources

1. Grooming, Gossip, and the Evolution of Language, By Robin Dubar
2. Human conversational behavior, R.I.M Dunbar, Anna Marriott, N.D.C Duncan, Human Nature
3. The ugly truth: negative gossip about celebrities and positive gossip about self entertain people in different ways, Xiaozhe Peng, You Li, Pengfei Wang, Lei Mo, Qi Chen, Social Neuroscience
4. Psychologists say gossiping is a social skill. Here’s how to know if you’re doing it right, Sarah DiGiulio, Today , NBC News

Further Study

• The Science Behind Why People Gossip—And When It Can Be a Good Thing, By Sophia Gottfried, Time
• Why We Gossip, By Lindsay Dodgson, Business Insider 
• The Danger of Workplace Gossip, Careerstone Group